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Thread: If My Stock Could Talk by Francis from theold Battle Tested Forum

  1. #1
    Moderator Punch The Clown's Avatar
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    If My Stock Could Talk by Francis from theold Battle Tested Forum

    I laughed so hard when I read this I had to save it so it doesn't get lost in cyberspace. This was a posting by Francis on the old BT Forum.

    January 26, 2011 9:45 PM
    I received this stock on my CMP SG carbine. It is in terrible shape and I was initially troubled by this, but then after listening to the CMP forum convince people that a crappy stock is a lucky buy, I started to change my tune.
    After some thought, I felt this is the story my stock has to tell:
    This stock is a Greek return that was caried by a young Greek man named Cristos. Christos was a hard working but absent minded man.
    While carrying his M1 Carbine one day he found a river to take a nap by, but when he got up to take a drink, he dropped the carbine in the river. Promptly he took the carbine apart and tried to dry it.
    Christos decided to take a nap and dry the stock. But when he woke up it was gone! Oh what to do!
    But then Christos realized he could make his own form a Balsa wood tree. And here is what he made:


    then Christos, happy with his accomplishment, decided to go to town for some food. He purchased a can of Sardines and was enjoying them when he realized there was no butt plate!
    Well, this just had to be fixed! Christos then promptly fashioned his Sardine can into a butt plate.
    However nice he thought it was, screwing it to the stock only stripped out the Balsa wood. Well, not to worry, quick thinking brought Christos some great ideas in the past and didn't disappoint now!
    He would simply put a piece of lead into the whole to make the screw tight!
    Huzzah!


    Christos also felt that many in his unit were conspiring to steal his beloved Balsa wood stock. He could see the looks and talk it generated in the barracks.
    Well, why not just put his initials on the stock!
    Huzzah!
    After some time in the unit Christos found his memory failing. What to do?
    Put the lock combo to his foot locker on the stock!



    I thought I'd post this on the CMP site but felt it better to keep it here. I wouldn't want rollingthunder to butt in and explain that the stock was actually very valuable and from the Italian Army and a man named Giuseppe.
    That would have killed my illusion of this stock fitting the CMP SG criteria and being valuable to me.
    When dealing with liberals, always attribute to malice what would ordinarily be attributed to incompetence.

    "Of course it won't be easy; nothing worthwhile ever is. That is why I have always failed where others have succeeded."-Clouseau

  2. #2
    Senior Member captain_bob_badfish's Avatar
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    great thread

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