The coolest use of smilies contest

[timshufflin]

In this contest I would challenge any of you, visitor who's on the fence about joining or a current member, to post a story of your choice. Here are the rules;
1. Story to be at least 100 words and/or smilies long
2. You should try to use as few words as possible and go heavy on the smilies from a judging point of view
3. No profanity but the smilies may be risque.
4. I am the judge of the contest
5. I don't know the prize yet but it's just something small
6. You can use smilies from this site or any smilie you like for your story
7. Contest is over July 1 2011
8. One entry per person and you may edit that post all you want until the due date.
Here's an example of a story but it will not be 100 words or smilies long, just a few sentences.

Well :SHTF: today folks and I'm :mad: as hell. The dog got in a $swords$ with the neighbor dog and now the $toilet$ runneth over.

[Orlando]

Much to difficult for my feeble mind

[timshufflin]

Much to difficult for my feeble mind

... and thus, NO SOUP FOR YOU LOL

[LEAD POISON]

A short story by LP http://http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm125/OLD-DUNG-BUZZARD/FU.jpghttp://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm125/OLD-DUNG-BUZZARD/FU.jpg

[timshufflin]

:)$Avomit$$commando$$toilet$:D:p$bomb$$swords$
I have fixed the smilie problem. The contest starts NOW and only 1 entry per person.

[LEAD POISON]

Poor Thomas all that work for NUTTIN.

[tljames]

Ok so I can start now and ALL prior posts don't count against me? http://bestsmileys.com/big/1.gif

http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/5.gif lets see.....I know I know it was a dark andhttp://bestsmileys.com/storms/6.gif No that doesn't work...................... http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/5.gif



Well it all started http://bestsmileys.com/innocent/1.gif(as most things do) so what if I were http://bestsmileys.com/drinking/5.gif I was http://bestsmileys.com/clueless/4.gif about the ways of the http://bestsmileys.com/globes/2.gif! I thought about getting some http://bestsmileys.com/sleeping/2.gif, but changed my mind and went to thehttp://bestsmileys.com/computer1/7.gifinstead.
I played http://bestsmileys.com/video/1.gif http://bestsmileys.com/video/2.gif and checked out a fewhttp://bestsmileys.com/bunny/1.gif on my favorite porn site. Then I stumbled upon a $auto$ page where this http://bestsmileys.com/sports2/5.gif fellow was restoring http://bestsmileys.com/army/4.gif weapons! I was http://bestsmileys.com/excited/3.gif and http://bestsmileys.com/bowing/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/bowing/2.gifimpressed with the http://bestsmileys.com/magic/1.gif this guy preformed on old http://bestsmileys.com/army/5.gif rifles.
Then I noticed a http://bestsmileys.com/hyper/3.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/buttons/13.gif to a place called $swords$ Tested!

If I had known before entering I would soon be spending http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/2.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/3.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/4.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/5.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/7.gif on my http://bestsmileys.com/computer1/14.gif I may well have justhttp://bestsmileys.com/fishing/1.gif. But instead I just grabbed another http://bestsmileys.com/drinks/4.gif and
http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/16.gif right in!
You wouldn't believe the people you meet on the http://bestsmileys.com/globes/4.gif wide web. For instance there's this fellow from the <a href="http://www.myemoticons.com/"><img src="http://www.myemoticons.com/images/emotions/happy/sunshine.gif" border="0" alt="sunshine" title="sunshine" /></a> state that everyone says is $homo$ . I think they're $toilet$ but I don't turn my back on him! Then I met a http://bestsmileys.com/cops/8.gif from Kentucky, I think he once paid http://bestsmileys.com/money/2.gif for http://bestsmileys.com/exploding/1.gif cause of his screen name. Nice guy but you have to http://bestsmileys.com/eyes/4.gif those hillbillys cause they'll be saying you have a pretty http://bestsmileys.com/surprised/4.gif and wanting you to "squeal like a http://bestsmileys.com/animals/8.gif!
I ended up giving http://bestsmileys.com/money/3.gif to this fellow from down south he sold me a couple of http://bestsmileys.com/shooting1/10.gif but he's been so busy http://bestsmileys.com/working/1.gif we just haven't http://bestsmileys.com/peeping/4.gif him in a while! Then there's this fellow from http://bestsmileys.com/horses2/2.gif.... Montana I think, he say's he's a tattoo http://bestsmileys.com/art/1.gif, but I think he's ahttp://bestsmileys.com/flasher/1.gif,cause of a http://bestsmileys.com/camera/1.gif he took of himself and posted on here. Yep we have all kinds on here from http://bestsmileys.com/office1/8.gif to http://bestsmileys.com/rude/3.gif Myself I'm ahttp://bestsmileys.com/firemen/3.gif andhttp://bestsmileys.com/medical/5.gif, although I have been known tohttp://bestsmileys.com/office1/1.gif and http://bestsmileys.com/rude/4.gif
Honestly theres a lot more fellows on here than :D to describe them. We talk http://bestsmileys.com/shooting1/8.gif and http://bestsmileys.com/camera/2.gifwe discusshttp://bestsmileys.com/cars/6.gif andhttp://bestsmileys.com/cars/21.gif.Of course you can't get a bunch of guys together and not talk about http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/3.gif. Sometimes the guys they http://bestsmileys.com/hitting/2.gifand http://bestsmileys.com/argue/1.gif and they won't hesitate to say http://bestsmileys.com/peeing/4.gif! Yet we're still all one big happy http://bestsmileys.com/family/3.gif.
Yep all in all $swords$ Tested is the place to be!
Yet there is ONE http://bestsmileys.com/horses1/25.gif on here that reallyhttp://bestsmileys.com/buttons/11.gif and
http://bestsmileys.com/angry1/25.gifme off! He's the guy thats beenhttp://bestsmileys.com/drinking/20.gifand http://bestsmileys.com/smoking/8.gif crack and erased all my other :)! Oh well I http://bestsmileys.com/comfort/3.gif him.
http://bestsmileys.com/surprised/5.giflook whathttp://bestsmileys.com/clocks/3.gif I've beenhttp://bestsmileys.com/computer2/8.gif long enough, I'm http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/1.gif I'll go to the bar and pick up somehttp://bestsmileys.com/cats1/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/drinking/18.gif

THE END (again) http://bestsmileys.com/goodbye/4.gif

[timshufflin]

Yes TL, use the post you just made.

[LEAD POISON]

Hey Timmy, Let's start over.What the hell.

[tljames]

L.P. http://bestsmileys.com/mooners/2.gif

[timshufflin]

L.P. http://bestsmileys.com/mooners/2.gif


And like I said TL, you can edit that post anytime you want till the due date. Heck, you may be the only two that try this, good for you all if you are. Good luck.

[tljames]

SMILEY TRANSLATION



Hmmmmmm lets see...I know I know it was a dark and stormy night,No that doesn't work...Hmmmm.
Well it all started innocently (as most things do) so what if I were drinking? I was clueless about the ways of the world! I thought about getting some sleep, but changed my mind and went to the computer instead.
I played video games and checked out a few bunnies on my favorite porn site.Then I stumbled upon a gun page where this Yankee fellow was restoring military weapons! I was excited and extremely impressed with the magic this guy preformed on old WW II rifles. Then I noticed a hyper link to a place called Battle Tested!
If I had know before entering I would soon be spending every day of the week on my computer I may well have just gone fishing, but instead I just grabbed another beer and hopped right in!
You wouldn't believe the people you meet on the world wide web.For instance there's this fellow from the sunshine state that everyone says is queer. I think they're full of (censored), but I don't turn my back on him! Then I met a policeman from Kentucky, I think he once paid cash for explosives cause of his screen name. Nice guy but you have to keep your eyes on those hillbillys cause they'll be saying you have a pretty mouth and wanting you to squeal like a pig!
I ended up giving money to this fellow from down south, he sold me a couple of guns but he's been so busy working we just haven't seen him in a while!
Then there's this fellow from out west.....Montana I think, he says he's a tattoo artist ,but I think he's a flasher,cause of a picture he took of himself and posted on here.
Yep we have all kinds on here from a$$ kissers to nose pickers. Myself I'm a Firefighter and Paramedic, although I have been known to kiss a$$ and pick my nose.
Honestly there's a lot more fellows on here than smileys to describe them. We talk guns and take pictures of them we discuss cars and motorcycles. Of course you can't get a bunch of guys together and not talk about (censored). Sometimes the guys they fight and argue and they won't hesitate to say "pi$$ on ya!" Yet we're still all one big happy family. Yep all in all Battle Tested is the place to be!
Yet there is ONE horse's a$$ on here that really pushes my buttons and pi$$e$ me off! He's the guy thats been drinking and smoking crack and erased all my other smileys!
Oh well I forgive him.
Wow look what time it is. I've been on my computer long enough, I'm thinking I'll go to the bar and pick up some (censored)
THE END (again)

[tljames]

Ok so I can start now and ALL prior posts don't count against me? http://bestsmileys.com/big/1.gif

http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/5.gif lets see.....I know I know it was a dark andhttp://bestsmileys.com/storms/6.gif No that doesn't work...................... http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/5.gif



Well it all started http://bestsmileys.com/innocent/1.gif(as most things do) so what if I were http://bestsmileys.com/drinking/5.gif I was http://bestsmileys.com/clueless/4.gif about the ways of the http://bestsmileys.com/globes/2.gif! I thought about getting some http://bestsmileys.com/sleeping/2.gif, but changed my mind and went to thehttp://bestsmileys.com/computer1/7.gifinstead.
I played http://bestsmileys.com/video/1.gif http://bestsmileys.com/video/2.gif and checked out a fewhttp://bestsmileys.com/bunny/1.gif on my favorite porn site. Then I stumbled upon a $auto$ page where this http://bestsmileys.com/sports2/5.gif fellow was restoring http://bestsmileys.com/army/4.gif weapons! I was http://bestsmileys.com/excited/3.gif and http://bestsmileys.com/bowing/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/bowing/2.gifimpressed with the http://bestsmileys.com/magic/1.gif this guy preformed on old http://bestsmileys.com/army/5.gif rifles.
Then I noticed a http://bestsmileys.com/hyper/3.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/buttons/13.gif to a place called $swords$ Tested!

If I had known before entering I would soon be spending http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/2.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/3.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/4.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/5.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/days_of_week/7.gif on my http://bestsmileys.com/computer1/14.gif I may well have justhttp://bestsmileys.com/fishing/1.gif. But instead I just grabbed another http://bestsmileys.com/drinks/4.gif and
http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/16.gif right in!
You wouldn't believe the people you meet on the http://bestsmileys.com/globes/4.gif wide web. For instance there's this fellow from the <a href="http://www.myemoticons.com/"><img src="http://www.myemoticons.com/images/emotions/happy/sunshine.gif" border="0" alt="sunshine" title="sunshine" /></a> state that everyone says is $homo$ . I think they're $toilet$ but I don't turn my back on him! Then I met a http://bestsmileys.com/cops/8.gif from Kentucky, I think he once paid http://bestsmileys.com/money/2.gif for http://bestsmileys.com/exploding/1.gif cause of his screen name. Nice guy but you have to http://bestsmileys.com/eyes/4.gif those hillbillys cause they'll be saying you have a pretty http://bestsmileys.com/surprised/4.gif and wanting you to "squeal like a http://bestsmileys.com/animals/8.gif!
I ended up giving http://bestsmileys.com/money/3.gif to this fellow from down south he sold me a couple of http://bestsmileys.com/shooting1/10.gif but he's been so busy http://bestsmileys.com/working/1.gif we just haven't http://bestsmileys.com/peeping/4.gif him in a while! Then there's this fellow from http://bestsmileys.com/horses2/2.gif.... Montana I think, he say's he's a tattoo http://bestsmileys.com/art/1.gif, but I think he's ahttp://bestsmileys.com/flasher/1.gif,cause of a http://bestsmileys.com/camera/1.gif he took of himself and posted on here. Yep we have all kinds on here from http://bestsmileys.com/office1/8.gif to http://bestsmileys.com/rude/3.gif Myself I'm ahttp://bestsmileys.com/firemen/3.gif andhttp://bestsmileys.com/medical/5.gif, although I have been known tohttp://bestsmileys.com/office1/1.gif and http://bestsmileys.com/rude/4.gif
Honestly theres a lot more fellows on here than :D to describe them. We talk http://bestsmileys.com/shooting1/8.gif and http://bestsmileys.com/camera/2.gifwe discusshttp://bestsmileys.com/cars/6.gif andhttp://bestsmileys.com/cars/21.gif.Of course you can't get a bunch of guys together and not talk about http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/3.gif. Sometimes the guys they http://bestsmileys.com/hitting/2.gifand http://bestsmileys.com/argue/1.gif and they won't hesitate to say http://bestsmileys.com/peeing/4.gif! Yet we're still all one big happy http://bestsmileys.com/family/3.gif.
Yep all in all $swords$ Tested is the place to be!
Yet there is ONE http://bestsmileys.com/horses1/25.gif on here that reallyhttp://bestsmileys.com/buttons/11.gif and
http://bestsmileys.com/angry1/25.gifme off! He's the guy thats beenhttp://bestsmileys.com/drinking/20.gifand http://bestsmileys.com/smoking/8.gif crack and erased all my other :)! Oh well I http://bestsmileys.com/comfort/3.gif him.
http://bestsmileys.com/surprised/5.giflook whathttp://bestsmileys.com/clocks/3.gif I've beenhttp://bestsmileys.com/computer2/8.gif long enough, I'm http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/1.gif I'll go to the bar and pick up somehttp://bestsmileys.com/cats1/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/drinking/18.gif

THE END (again) http://bestsmileys.com/goodbye/4.gif

[tljames]

Ok $swords$ Tested friends (a.k.a.) http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/3.gif I brought this to the top, to remind you all of the :D contest! Look at the http://bestsmileys.com/clocks/3.gif, its nearly Julyhttp://bestsmileys.com/flaming/1.gif ! If you want to be http://bestsmileys.com/tropheys/1.gif. In the :p contest, you better get off yourhttp://bestsmileys.com/horses1/25.gif and start posting!

[LEAD POISON]

You are STILL THE BEST.
TL TL TL TL TL TL

[tljames]

"AHEM ..............SO who's the weiner!?"

[BRUTUS]

"AHEM ..............SO who's the weiner!?"

I can't speak for others, but I've always deferred to you as the weiner.......

[tljames]

THANKS BRUTE! Love ya man! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO ;)

[tljames]

http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/clueless/1.gif http://bestsmileys.com/clueless/7.gif http://bestsmileys.com/textinbubble2/4.gif http://bestsmileys.com/anxious/4.gif

[tljames]

http://bestsmileys.com/backgrounds/6.gif

[timshufflin]

I've been tardy, TL, PM me your address! You win you win you win, my God you WIN.

[tljames]

http://bestsmileys.com/letters1/19.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/15.gif
http://bestsmileys.com/letters1/23.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/8.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/20.gif
http://bestsmileys.com/letters1/7.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/9.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/22.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/5.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/19.gif
http://bestsmileys.com/letters1/20.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/9.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/13.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/13.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/letters1/8.gif

[tljames]

http://bestsmileys.com/big/1.gif

[Punch The Clown]

Stu and Borat say "THANK YOU"!!!!

http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo140/Stumedic/Borat-2-Thumbs-Up.jpg