dpd3672
09-11-2013, 10:59 AM
I giggled my butt off doing this, and while I'm sure it's been done before, I'm taking credit for it this one. I figured there were enough dark senses of humor around here to appreciate it.
This morning, I received this email to my "junk" folder. I'll save you the time of reading the whole thing, and just bold the high points:
--
Greetings
this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I believe that you will
be honest to fulfill my final wish .
I am Mrs. Rovira Maria Jose, I am 58 years old, I am suffering from a
long time cancer of the breast. From all indication my condition is
really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I
may not live beyond next month; this is because the cancer stage has
reached a critical stage.
I am from Spain, but i resided with my husband in west Africa,
Presently, I'm undergoing treatment in the hospital. I have since lost
my ability to talk loud and my doctors have told me that I have only a
few months to live, except if am willing to undergo another surgery.
I was brought up in a motherless baby’s home, and was married to my
late husband for many years without child. my husband was a very
successful business man in Gold, but Unfortunately my husband died in a
fatal Auto accident. Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold
most of my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $2.9million
dollars with a Bank. Presently, this money is still in their custody,
and the management just wrote me as the legitimate depositor to inform
me of my deposit or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody
to receive it on my behalf since I cannot come over as a result of my
illness, or the fund will be confiscated.
It is my last wish to see that my fund is invested in any charity work
of your choice and proceeds distribution among the charity organization,
the motherless baby's orphanage homes.
I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to
take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option. I
hope you will help see my last wishes come true.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the
Bank. I will also issue you a letter of authority, which will prove that
you are the new beneficiary of my funds. Please assure me that you will
act accordingly as I stated herein. Hope to hear from you soonest.
Please kindly write me [email protected]
Yours Faithfully,
Rovira Maria Jose
My reply:
Ms. Jose,
I'm terribly sorry to hear of your circumstances; of course I'd love to help, in any way that I can.
Unfortunately, my trust fund requires that a great deal of documentation accompany any withdrawals that I make. In order to satisfy my trustee, could you please provide documentation of your condition? Specifically, medical records, a medical history, a letter from your doctor, and photos or video of the affected breast(s). You can upload the documentation to www.youtube.com and provide me with a link to the address.
This should more than satisfy the requirements of my bank, and also provide satisfaction to my trustee, who is widowed himself, and enjoys reviewing this type of data on the internet, for hours at a time.
I'd also, with your permission, like to take my support a step further, and solicit donations, on your behalf. I have created a website, www.rottenjugs.com, that's linked to a Paypal account that will accept donations on your behalf, and make them available to you. Again, with your permission, I will upload the video to that site.
I pray for a speedy recovery, and wish you the very best.
DP
I'm not insensitive to how terrible breast cancer is, but I get furious at people who take advantage of the sympathy (and greed) of others.
This morning, I received this email to my "junk" folder. I'll save you the time of reading the whole thing, and just bold the high points:
--
Greetings
this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I believe that you will
be honest to fulfill my final wish .
I am Mrs. Rovira Maria Jose, I am 58 years old, I am suffering from a
long time cancer of the breast. From all indication my condition is
really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I
may not live beyond next month; this is because the cancer stage has
reached a critical stage.
I am from Spain, but i resided with my husband in west Africa,
Presently, I'm undergoing treatment in the hospital. I have since lost
my ability to talk loud and my doctors have told me that I have only a
few months to live, except if am willing to undergo another surgery.
I was brought up in a motherless baby’s home, and was married to my
late husband for many years without child. my husband was a very
successful business man in Gold, but Unfortunately my husband died in a
fatal Auto accident. Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold
most of my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $2.9million
dollars with a Bank. Presently, this money is still in their custody,
and the management just wrote me as the legitimate depositor to inform
me of my deposit or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody
to receive it on my behalf since I cannot come over as a result of my
illness, or the fund will be confiscated.
It is my last wish to see that my fund is invested in any charity work
of your choice and proceeds distribution among the charity organization,
the motherless baby's orphanage homes.
I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to
take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option. I
hope you will help see my last wishes come true.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the
Bank. I will also issue you a letter of authority, which will prove that
you are the new beneficiary of my funds. Please assure me that you will
act accordingly as I stated herein. Hope to hear from you soonest.
Please kindly write me [email protected]
Yours Faithfully,
Rovira Maria Jose
My reply:
Ms. Jose,
I'm terribly sorry to hear of your circumstances; of course I'd love to help, in any way that I can.
Unfortunately, my trust fund requires that a great deal of documentation accompany any withdrawals that I make. In order to satisfy my trustee, could you please provide documentation of your condition? Specifically, medical records, a medical history, a letter from your doctor, and photos or video of the affected breast(s). You can upload the documentation to www.youtube.com and provide me with a link to the address.
This should more than satisfy the requirements of my bank, and also provide satisfaction to my trustee, who is widowed himself, and enjoys reviewing this type of data on the internet, for hours at a time.
I'd also, with your permission, like to take my support a step further, and solicit donations, on your behalf. I have created a website, www.rottenjugs.com, that's linked to a Paypal account that will accept donations on your behalf, and make them available to you. Again, with your permission, I will upload the video to that site.
I pray for a speedy recovery, and wish you the very best.
DP
I'm not insensitive to how terrible breast cancer is, but I get furious at people who take advantage of the sympathy (and greed) of others.