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Well guys I just found out that I am going to be a Daddy again. At age 40 I am not real excited about this and it comes as a total surprise. I thought I was done with 1 child but it seems things change.
Any words of encouragement would help. I feel as though I should be happy about this ,but I am just not excited as I feel I should be and that bothers me.
Carrie and I were dead set against having any kids. then she got pregnant at 39. Needless to say, not only was I not "happy", I was flat out UNHAPPY. Tim will tell you that more than once I talked about pushing my wife down a flight of stairs - and only half joking.
Now, you have one already, so you already know that it's an insane amount of work and an insane amount of money having a kid, but you also know that in the end it's totally worth it. I won't lie to you, I'm one tired azz MO FO every stinking day. I was already a wreck before the kid, now I'm aging at at least twice the rate I should be. But, again, it's worth it. she's still the greatest thing I've done in my life.
At just a few weeks shy of 42, I am shocked to see so many of my friends STILL having kids. I guess 40 IS the new 30.
I wouldn't change a thing, except I might have started sooner. The worst part, for me, is wondering how long I will be around for her. Will I make it to graduation? wedding? grandkids? That's really the only thing that bothers me.
Congratulations to you and Mrs Mike. It will all be good, bro
"Well guys I just found out that I am going to be a Daddy again."
I guess as long as your wife never finds out, that is something to be happy about!:p
All kidding aside, I know where you are coming from. My son was born when I was 25. I coached his soccer teams for 8 years and we even played on mens open division teams together when he was in junior High and High School. There is no way I could have done all of that if he had been born when I was 40. BUT, I would have found other ways to stay involved with him. You can too. They grow up a lot faster now than we did as kids, so sharing some hobby time or other common interest will be awesome.
Thanks Sean, I Really feel ya Bro. I haven't gone to the extreme thinking about the stairs, lol ! My daughter is a great joy and when she is 16, I will be 50. I just noticed my 1st gray hairs and like you I wonder how long I will be around for this one. I had a bout with Cancer at 39 and it has been almost 1 year,so maybee I am just emotionally drained from that.
All is good so far with the C,but it always lingers in the back of my mind. I guess I just need to dig down deep and get that little something to get over the hump .
Thanks for the support guys :)
Lots of cancer in my family. Lots of early deaths. And I am far from the picture of health. One thing I've learned watching it all these years - The C is either gonna get you, or it isn't. If it does, you'll either make it through or it'll kill ya. Nothing you can do about any of it so no sense losing sleep. I can't stop living my life because I'm worried about when it will end. No one gets off the planet alive. Best thing you can do is concentrate on what you do while you're here and not what you'll miss when you're gone.
Awesome that you are a year out already. See how fast that went? It will all come together. You will see.
Hell Mike you have a lot less gray hair than I do, and I haven't even started having kids yet! Nothing wrong with having them into your 40s (I hope - I'm 36), there's just a push for people to not procreate. I blame it on the sexual devolution of the 1960s and liberalism.
You'll do fine, man!
Eli
Bro, 40 is not too old by a long shot. I had my youngest at 37.
Mike
I had my youngest at 39, now 14 years later she is my pride and joy and my shooting buddy. Don't worry the creator don't give us what we can't handle!!!!!!!
Mike
Mike
We only had one child, while she is my pride and joy we never at the time wanted to have another
There were always excuses, not enough money,to busy ,etc, etc. Bottom line I look back now and really wish we would have had another .
You will be fine my friend, The Lord has blessed you
My wife wants to try for a Boy,I told her she is nuts.We are just at the point of paying our bills,and feeding the kids,and my health only gets worse...WE DO NOT need another,but she is only turning 30 and said her"clock is ticking" :(
I thought a BAKER always had one in the oven!
Congrat's old Dad.
I had my first when I was 31 and I was not ready. We ended up with 2. I am now on the back door of 60 and we worked our tails off with the 2 we had but the dividends are now arriving in the form of grand kids. All the work you do now will pay off as long as you give your 100%. Don't spoil him or her and expect them to learn good values like family, education and a never ending quest to learn and you will one day say to yourself, it was all worth it. kwg
I look back at the age of 40 and wish the wife and I could have had another. I got snipped years ago though, we really could only afford two kids with having to pay for everyone else's.
I had my first at 40. They keep you young!!!
Congrats!
Mike,
I don't know you, and I had the youngest of my 4 when I was 30, but I will tell you you have good instincts being honest with yourself about your feelings and turning to your friends for support. I have no doubt you'll be there for your baby whenever you're really needed for as long as you live. It may not be easy, but that's not the deal, anyway.
My wife and I used to work overseas. I remember talking with one of my daughters, and letting her know her job was not to protect me from the expense and hassle of coming to her aid if she needed it. I told her if she needed her Dad, I would be there, no matter the cost or inconvenience.
Your kids will face this world with a step-up over many others who won't have a Dad like you.
Thank all of you gentlemen for the support and encouragement !
It really hit the spot .
When we found out we were expecting our first child, I was working on a construction job and was telling everyone the good news. The only reaction that I remember was the response that I got from the electrical contractor - he was about 15 years older than me. He said "Oh you're having a baby - that's great! You'll see, sooner or later the kids and the dog are the only ones who will talk to you."
I thought that he was a very cynical bastard.
He was right.
I am days away from 49 and my marriage is not good. My wife does not want me any more and has been very clear about it. We are nothing more than roommates; have been for about 2 years. I try to do the right thing to the best of my ability and pray for strength, guidance and wisdom to understand what it is that God is trying to teach me.
My life is still good, even when it sucks. I have been blessed with two very wonderful children, a boy and a girl. My son is in his closing days of High School, we have been on the college palooza tour and he will be mailing a Letter of Intent with a check attached to whatever school he decides to attend this coming week. His education is going to cost on the low end about $40k and on the more realistic end about $55k per year depending on where he matriculates. He is a wonderful young man, and seeing the person that he has/is becoming makes me very proud of him. I have no clue how we are paying for his education, but somehow we will make it work so that he can fulfill his ambitions.
My daughter is a ball of fire. Ever since she has been just a little peanut I have called her "Little Miss Can-Do" as she just gets it all done without even debating with herself whether she can or not. Although she will be starting HS this fall, she is already making plans for college. She wants to be a Veterinarian. She just got back from Tufts University Pre-Vet camp; that was her Spring Break from school. She too, like her big brother, is just an absolute joy - another wonderful person.
Sorry for the long post, but I felt like talking a lot here. I don't know much and am not very savvy about a lot of the discussions on this site. My point is that you should honor your feelings - at least you are being honest. I really did not bond well with my children when they were babies; my bond with them is amazing now that they are older. My love for them has grown more in the last 2 years than in all of the years combined. They have become my source of unending, boundless joy. I feel very blessed and I am confident that when you least expect it you will feel it too. God's love is encompassing but sometimes I think that it is not all warm and fuzzy. Just give yourself time to enjoy the journey.
I had lukemia almost 5 years ago now!! Doctor told me 90% i would be dead in 2 weeks!! What a kick in the nuts!! But i was given a second chance in live!! I with my family's love beat the cancer!! So brother if you had cancer.. And beat it,,love that baby and your wife... And thank the good Lord everyday you are able to share your love still... Also i would request blood work be done???? With all these jerks here you never know.. It could be one of ours... Just kidding brother!!!! Best of luck chief... Peace toolmanQuote:
Originally Posted by seaninmich
This post was for mike!! have know idea what happened! Also Sean does your little girl still look like me ?????
I was 42 when we delivered our first child. It was on a Tuesday. We named her Sarah. We buried her on a the next Saturday. I'd be glad to trade with you.
Mike, I'm another that didn't start until 40, finally convinced the wife we were getting old! We'd been married 17 years at that point. Had our second at 42! One will be a breeze compared to what we went through until our youngest was about 2. Two toddlers was brutal at times. Turning 45 this year and I wouldn't trade my boys for ANYTHING! They are the best thing to happen to me, sorry Tim, even better than my Mini-G! Do I wake up dog-ass tired? Yes. Do they wear me out? Yes. But they make it all worthwhile with their unconditional love. Watching them discover new things and learn new skills... it's amazing!
Like melloman my marriage has problems. His post was the first I'd seen anyone other than myself refer to his spouse as a roommate. When life's a bitch and the wife is 'checked out' they're the only reason for being. And I'm MUCH better suited to be a father now; older, wiser, I've got more patience, time and money...
Mike, it's good that you've been honest with yourself and confronted these feelings. I hope that you can welcome this blessing and I pray for a healthy baby and mommy!
I am ajusting to the idea, I found out yesterday that this child has a set of nuts. My daughter has not give me any trouble so this one will most likely be wild as hell.
Like I said before, they keep you young! Congratulations on having a son.
Congrats. I know the thought had to cross your mind before about who to pass on some of your guns to. Problem solved.
Good point !Quote:
Originally Posted by lowell66dart